The Moose

“Even though I was kidding,” Doff replied, “I have no doubt there will be a line of pilots requesting to be part of your mission. You always attract the best and those who aspire to be the best. I guarantee those pilots who are assigned to your mission will be up to the task. I do have one other question though, I know you are too smart to be Centuriata, and have no patience for Terran bureaucracy, so I have long been wondering … Are you some sort of Jianji spy?”

Coldstone was in no way ready for the question and Doff had asked it with no visible hint of the question being a joke. After a few moments to compose himself he erased the surprised look on his face which had immediately become the indignant face of one falsely accused. Coldstone rose from his seat and walked around the table to face his accuser. Doff and Coldstone had become almost immediate friends when I had brought them together for the first-time years ago. Doff was one of the few who did not consider the Sabine to be worthless in a firefight, and Coldstone was one of the few non-missile using Kurons that did not look down their noses at the Enforcers weapon of choice. 

They stood there facing each other giving no indication that either took this matter anything but completely serious. The rest of us were facing varied stages of what I like to call internal hysterics. Or simply trying with all your might not to smile, giggle, or make any noise or action that might break the delicate balance that was the game of wits before us. Who would break down first, the players or the audience? My bet in these situations was always in favor of Cold, he would not break the serious role until the rest of the room had burst into laughter. Doff was no slouch either and could normally be counted on to hold out till the end also. Now it was Coldstone’s move, would he respond in such a way that would have the rest of us lose our barely held composure? Or would he aim directly at Doff hoping to break his concentration first? Maybe he would even open the door for Doff, allowing him the honor of giving us the final blow?

“Doff,” Coldstone began sounding hurt and very upset by the accusation that had been brought. “I must say that I am shocked that you would bring such an accusation against me in this particular setting. I never would have expected that you try to humiliate me in front those that I believed we both call friends. While I have many secrets, as I am sure we all do, I would have hoped that something such as this could have been handled privately. If you however had some concern for your safety, which could be considered reasonable if you truly believed this accusation to be valid, you could have at the very least brought this charge to Calista in order that it might not disrupt and bring some confusion to this particular body.”

Doff and a few others of the staff started studying every aspect of Coldstone’s body language. Cold was either playing this for all it was worth or Doff, while knowing there was no truth to the spy accusation, had stumbled very close to some other truth that Coldstone was about to expose and defend or explain. If I did not know him so well, I to would be wondering what nerve Doff may have inadvertently struck.

“Since you have chosen to bring this out here and now,” Coldstone continued, “I have no choice but to end any speculation here and now. For comparison, I ask you all to remember when Calista spent almost all her time devoted to commerce. Buy low, sell high, pick up this passenger and deliver to that station, she even went as far as hauling trash for several different factions all in the effort to gain a reputation and a favorable standing with those she needed in order to be able build the very best reactors available for those of us she considered friends. I know there are many of you, which includes you, Doff, who accused her of being part Terran, or possibly some aberration of the Shika genome because she became so immersed in what is admittedly a Terran dominated activity. We all knew, as did she that these accusations were all in jest. Anyone could tell by the way they were put forth, that they were all in jest. Nothing more than an attempt at humor that might lighten the drudgery of the tasks she had set herself. I am saddened to say that I heard no jest in your accusation, Doff. I cannot even begin to imagine what may have brought you to say this to me. If I were of the Warrior mentality, I am sure you would currently be on the floor wondering if I was going to strike you again, and if it was safe to stand up again.”

“Coldstone?” Doff started.

“No, Doff, it is too late for explanation or retraction, the damage has been done, and the question of my background and my loyalties are now on everyone’s mind. So, I must put everyone at ease and reveal the secret that you came close enough to that a plausible question could persist in the minds of those here. I hope none of you will hold what I am about to tell you against me, and please know that unless I am asked to leave this organization, my loyalty and commitment will remain as though this never came up, and I would ask that this information not leave this room regardless of whether I am allowed to remain or asked to leave.”

Okay, now he had me wondering, had Doff really struck a nerve, or had Coldstone come across something that he could play for all it was worth, and was going to see how many of us he could draw into his story and have us believe that there really was something in his past that he had never intended for anyone to know. I still had to have faith in the straight man, it had to be a line, but if he was to take it much further, I doubt my faith would continue to hold.

“Calista,” Coldstone said turning to face me, “I hope what I am about to say will not affect our relationship, and I apologize for keeping this secret from you for so long. The truth is, I am the very first, and probably last, Coldstone iteration. There was a lab accident at the time my gene map was being assembled. The Sabine to this day cannot tell me how many different DNA types found their way into the map. Many have speculated that many of my brain functions are influenced by Shika DNA. This is what I am sure brought Doff to consider his accusation. I myself have no doubt this is what has brought me to enjoy the company of Shika more so than that of even educated and intelligent Sabine, especially given the normal animosity that Kuron and Shika feel towards each other because of the bloody history our races share.”

Okay, I don’t know anymore. His story actually made some sense. I know there have been mistakes, and accidents. I have even met some of them, I have even learned that no iteration is disposed of if there is even the slightest chance of learning something from the mistakes that created it, or at the very least the iteration can contribute in any way that would allow it to be a productive member of Kuron society.

“So, you know the truth, I am an aberration of nature and science, allowed to live because it is the Kuron way. Never good enough to be a true member of the Sabine, only tolerated and used when they thought I could be useful. Created without the necessary genes to be a proper warrior and mixed with so many different unknown or unidentified DNA strands that I questioned everything my trainers tried to teach me, eventually finding that very few Kuron would choose to even acknowledge me.”

“I never meant…” Doff started to say softly, “It was only supposed to be…It’s just that, well you … I mean…”

“Yes, Doff, I’m different!” Coldstone said turning back to his accuser. “I admit it, and now you can cast me aside just as the Kuron tried to do. I just want to be a man, treated like any other. I want the nightmares to end. I don’t want to remember those days anymore. I want to forget the question they always asked before each of the surgeries. Man or Moose, it is your choice, Man or Moose.”

“Moose?” someone asked snickering. 

“What was your answer?” Laughter was starting.

“Was the surgery a success?” Someone fell out of their chair, but I couldn’t tell who from the tears in my eyes.

“All of you think this is funny?” Coldstone asked looking around the room, staring at many in disbelief. “How would any of you like to have been born with a misshapen head prominently showing many moose attributes? Look at Calista, look at her tears, I knew my one true friend would understand and not mock me.”

Doff had sat down when Coldstone had turned his attention toward me and was scribbling something furiously on some paper. I couldn’t wait to see what he was doing.  Cold had gotten all of us, and I was sure Doff was going to reward him appropriately. 

“Calista,” Coldstone said. “I want to thank you for your tears, but they are not necessary... I am long past the need for sympathy.”

I was shaking. I had been trying to hold my laughter so long that I no longer could make a sound. Any effort to laugh out loud or make any other sound made me shake even more. Anyone who has laughed long enough, knows the pain a good long laugh will bring. This of course was resulting in the tears. Coldstone knew all this of course, having had gotten me to this state on previous occasions with his stories and jokes, and now he was going to make it worse, and use me to increase the laughter in the room.

“Calista,” Coldstone said again coming to my side. “Truly, everything is alright. I am comfortable with who I am, and rarely even think back to those days.”

“Antlers,” I managed to breath out as I ran one of my hands over Coldstone’s bald head. “How, where, are these….?”

Okay, so I fell off my chair. “Please stop now,” I managed to ask between the laughter convulsions I was trying to subdue.

“I haven’t had that much fun in a long time,” Coldstone said, “but I couldn’t resist, and I felt we could all use a good laugh.”

“You really had me going there towards the end,” Doff said, picking up his paper, and heading to where Cold and I were now sitting. And as the duly designated head of what your enemies might call our military fleet, I have ordered this insignia permanently added to Coldstone’s ship as well as any ship under his command. Additional markings will be added to those ships which are assigned additional missions under his command. Hopefully this will become a badge of honor for those who receive such assignments.”

I had never known that Doff had some artistic ability, yet he had drawn a quarter profile Moose head, which had somewhat of a Kuron look, almost as if this Moose had been native to Mars. They more I studied the drawing the more I became convinced that this particular Moose was a carnivore. And in a circle around the moose head were the following words: “If you can see the Moose it is already too late.”

“It will be an honor to have that displayed on my ship,” Coldstone said to Doff after taking in every bit of the proposed emblem.

“Thank you, Cold,” Doff replied. “After this idea came, I decided there should be some emblem for each commander something about bringing a unit together especially in stressful situations when they are carrying a like banner on their ships. I’m open to suggestions for more emblems, and please, no cows, 

chickens, rabbits, or… hmm, hold on, just got a picture of an appropriate rabbit.”

“All right, everyone, sorry I kept us here so long, but I believe we all have something to do now,” Coldstone said to everyone in the room. “And don’t forget, my past doesn’t leave this room.”